The How-To's of Public Transportation

Many of you, like me, use a form of public transportation on a daily basis. Recently, I've been noticing some trends on the bus and decided to share my thoughts here.

To drivers: You are greatly appreciated, so please do not take any offense at these tidbits. However, I have a few things to discuss with you.

1. Older gentlemen, I know you've been driving that bus for (x^4) years and know this route like the back of your hand, but please keep in mind that you are strapped in while the rest of us are not. Take those turns gently, and don't slam into the back of that UPS truck or we WILL find out what Brown can do for us...and we won't like it.
2. Cowfolk, I understand we're out in the woods here and you need some music on to stay entertained, but please turn your Country down to a respectible decible that won't deafen and simultaneously teach the riders how to leave your wife.
3. Young ladies at the scheduled stop waiting for time to continue on with the route, I know this counts as your break, but please text inconspicuously. When you text noticeably, it makes me feel like you'll be doing the same as you drive, jeopardizing my well-being.

To other riders: We could have been friends, but all of you that I don't know that climb aboard and choose to stand rather than sit by me hurt my feelings, so now I'm going to tell you why else we can't be friends.

1. It's still summer here in the woods, so please make friends with the following two things: BATHS AND DEODORANT. We're not in Italia; going without either and/or both does NOT fly.
2. To the person on the phone, just because the person on the other end isn't right next to you, this doesn't mean you need to talk loud enough for them to hear you without the phone. If you need to speak this loudly, please tell the person you'll call them back or wait for the next bus to come around after you get off the phone.
3. And lastly, my favorites, the groups of people who ride together and have conversations above the rest of the typical bus noise. I understand it's easy to get animated when conversing about something you feel strongly about, but the majority of you just gossip. Loudly. I feel dirty after hearing about all the things your friend did when she had a few too many last weekend. Please keep other people's business to a minimum decible.

P.S. I got my supplies for the bedazzled microphone (yet another reason why I need a Bedazzler...add that to the Bedazzler tally we have running). Construction of said microphone will begin this evening as Sambagirl and I watch Vampire Diaries. I'll keep you posted as we go.

Witticism of the Day: No matter how hard you try, you WILL end up spending more than you budgeted in your local craft store. Aim low to avoid gasping when the cashier announces to the store how much you spent.